Self-worth vs Social-worth
You’re tired of feeling like you’re constantly doing everything in your power for everyone else, yet you don’t get the same reciprocation.
You look to how your friends lives are transpiring, generally through the eyes of social media, and feel despondent because you don’t have the new car, the fancy house and aren’t going away on the luxurious trips. You’re thought pattern immediately turns to money and you judge your self-worth on your pay check which triggers another sore point… your pay check. You start feeling as though you’re not fully appreciated, over worked and under paid.
With the advances in social media that we expose ourselves to on a daily basis, it’s no wonder the world is filled with more and more people suffering from depression, anxiety and other mental disorders. Societal pressures are rife in today’s world. Gone are the days where only printed publications emulated the idea of how women should look, men should conduct themselves and how your white picket fence and garden lawn should be manicured. We now carry our phones around, checking social media every chance we get, and constantly get reminded of everything we are not, everything we don’t have and forget what we do have and should be practicing gratitude towards.
This all then boils down to our self-worth being compromised. And truly if all people focused on was that, everything else would fall away. Your true value would be deeply understood and you wouldn’t have to seek instant gratification by counting the “likes” or “followers” that you are subconsciously amounting to your successes to.
The biggest misconception however, is that people believe that self-worth is directly related to a term I would like to coin as social worth.
What is the difference?
Let’s start with social worth, I believe it to be an easier concept to understand. Social worth is one’s own perception based around societal values, values that state that you are only eligible of worthiness if you have a decent job, drive the latest cars, wear the branded clothes and the list goes on.
A common thought linked to this would be:
“I will only be seen as successful if I drive a BMW”
These are a set of values that I deem to be unhealthy. The start to fixing these ideals would be to understand the true meaning of self-worth.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you should give up aspirations and ambition, I myself am motivated to achieve success and all the superfluous things that come with that, but this post aims to look at how having the right mind set, and knowing the difference between valuing ourselves vs valuing material objects will help you along your journey. Self-worth and how to gain more of it
How many people can look at themselves in a mirror and speak the words “I Love you” with conviction, purpose and meaning?
Self-worth is about respecting yourself, appreciating yourself, believing in yourself. Not in a narcissistic way, people with those values tend to have many insecurities that in turn propels them to look to places such as social media for acceptance. Don’t be confused by the two. A sure and easy way to tell if someone values themselves will be to see how they treat others.
After all, the world is but a series of mirrors reflecting back to you what you see in others.
The saying “How can you love someone else, if you can’t even love yourself” rings so true.
So how would one go about creating more self-worth
I’m a firm believer in exercise. This is time you get to spend with yourself in celebration of what your body is capable of achieving. Instead of having the mindset of “ I need to go to gym so that I can look good for others” rather adapt a mindset of “I’m going to gym to spend time with myself, so that I can celebrate what my body can do”. With exercise comes a myriad of other benefits, progress creates confidence. Physical strength will inspire mental strength and so the list goes on. Even just a brisk walk around the block will help release some of those endorphins and dopamine levels that we all love.
At least once a day, take a moment to breathe. This can be in the way of meditation, prayer or just sitting quietly in reflection of the day. Make sure to not have your phone around you or any other devices that can disrupt you. Just simply sit with yourself.
The practice of gratitude is powerful. At least once a day thank yourself for at least one thing that you did in your day. Overtime this will build up and you may find yourself progressing to several things that you can’t wait to thank yourself for by the end of the day. The more you are grateful for, the more things will come to you for you to be thankful for.
In order to love yourself you need to know yourself. Go on a date with yourself. Spend time with yourself and start writing down things you like and don’t like. Observe how certain things make you feel. Truly get to know what makes you you. If someone asked you the question of “Who are you” would you be able to answer it?
Setting goals are so important. These do not need to be mammoth in size. Sure we all have long term big goals, as they say if your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough. In order to achieve those big goals though, set smaller more manageable ones so that as you gain more confidence achieving those, the big ones will get easier. The smaller goals can even be the big ones broken down into smaller steps. A good way to go about goal setting is to set 3 small ones at the end of your day for the your following day. At the end of every week set a slightly bigger goal set for the week to follow. The same applies to a month, and even a year. As the well know saying goes “ How do we eat an elephant? One bite at a time”
Do these little things and you will start noticing small differences. If you can do even just one of the above steps for just 21 days (that’s the amount of time it takes to form a new habit) you will start seeing huge differences.
Just know that wherever you are on your journey, it’s ok to be there. And you are exactly where you are meant to be.
Know that you are worthy simply because you exist.